Look At Me, I Exist!

A few days back, I went up to one of my colleague's desk to get some clarifications on a certain technical issue. It happened that another colleague presented himself there at the same time as me and also on the same subject as mine. I took the privilege of articulating the question for both of us to our esteemed colleague who held the precious solution. The answer, I did get but I was not content; I was rather irritated. Any guesses as to why? I will tell you why - it was because that person did not look at me while answering. I had posed the question to him but he persistently looked at the other person. I posed further questions to him but I was not granted as much as a glance from this supreme being all the while he spoke. By the end of the meeting, I was convinced there was something terribly wrong with me. I went to the restroom and checked myself in the mirror; there was nothing amiss. I then retrospected on the questions I had asked to find anything silly or stupid in them; there was nothing of that sort either, at least not as far as I could see. I consulted that other colleague who was present in the meeting to confirm I was not off the mark at any point and he too assured that I had made perfect sense. I brooded over it for a few more moments and failing to arrive at any conclusion, left it at that. After a few days, it happened again with another colleague and then again with another. I collected all these incidents in my mind and tried to find what had gone wrong. A lot of depression and contemplation later, I realized that nothing was wrong with me, whatever was wrong was with these colleagues of mine. These people who made me feel unsure and almost ashamed of myself were in fact the ones utterly lacking in self-confidence. They were the ones who had no control over their minds and hence all the time afraid that looking at me would cause them to go astray. The people who had made me feel guilty of my own existence were in fact the guilty ones. A cultured mind is one that respects a fellow human being and acknowledges him/her with due regard. Not looking at a person when addressing him/her is the worst form of insult that can be meted out to a self-respecting being and the worst sort of manners that can be possessed by a civilized person.

To be ordinary - is it wrong?

It is 10`o’ clock in the night when Sanju enters the dining room of his house to get a gulp of water. His parents are discussing something animatedly. Too tired to enter into any serious conversation, Sanju chooses to ignore them and return to his bedroom with the water bottle. His father calls after him “Arrey Sanju, come here kid.” “What is it dad? Can’t we talk tomorrow? I am too sleepy now.” Sanju ventures. To this, his father commands “Come here Sanju, its about your future.” Sanju has just finished his 12th standard board exams the day before. He had slogged for two whole years, attending coaching classes, crash courses on how to present in the exams and forgetting all about his cricket and volley ball. Today’s movie was his first in about six months. Nevertheless, 10`o’ clock in the night and sleep overpowering him, Sanju sits down to discuss his future. “Sanju, me and your father have been discussing what would be the best career option for you and what entrance test you should write” his mother says. Sanju immediately replies “Oh, I have my career goals all chalked out. I have been preparing for the NDA exams as well all along. I will apply for it and am hopeful of getting through it. And then, I will study aeronautical engineering and then into the Indian Airforce as a ground engineer.” “Listen Sanju, stop acting like a kid and start thinking seriously about your career.” “Dad, I am serious. I have put a lot of effort in preparing for the NDA exams and my school volley ball and cricket has helped in my physical fitness. I think I can get through it successfully” “Sanju, you idiot, army is not as glamourous as your movies make it to be.” “Dad, I am not going there for glamour, I am going to study engineering there too but with the bonus of serving my country.” “Patriotic nonsense! You are going to write entrance tests for both medical and engineering and then going for either MBBS or engineering depending on your marks. I would prefer you go for computer science engineering, it is low investment and 100% guaranty of a job too. Moreover, that is what everyone is doing now-a-days.” “But I don’t want to do whatever others do.” “You are no Bill Gates or Dhirubhai Ambani to create your own way. Now don’t argue and do what I tell you. That is my final word.” Sanju badly wants to go for NDA but his father’s words somehow takes away his earlier conviction and confidence from him and he succumbs. Thus was decided Sanju’s career goal. Four years of slogging later, Sanju predictably lands in an MNC offering a fat pay check and lots of onsite opportunities. What fool could reject this - a tensionless life, dreams of owning nike shoes, laptops and ipods all coming true in a jiffy. Two or three years of this life and Sanju suddenly remembers his dream of serving his country. Let alone serve his country, he has made none other than himself and his parents happy. Yes, he now has everything his parents had struggled for all their lives. He has made their dreams come true but forgotten his own. Whose fault is it? His parents’? Of course not! His parents just wanted to see him happy. Moreover, the dreams that Sanju has fulfilled were probably not their dreams either. His parents might have gone through the same sleepy conversations and forced decisions as Sanju. May be, there were suppressed dreams in their eyes too. For whatever reason, Sanju is here where he is, living a life that is no one’s dream. So, what should Sanju do now? Regret, feel ashamed of himself or learn to make decisions now that his life is his? All of us would agree on the later but how easy is it? Never having been given the freedom to make decisions, how confident could Sanju feel of reigning his life all by himself? The easier route would beckon like the witch’s toffee house to continue the life of money and frivolous pleasures. What’s more, he even knows the toffee house has real toffees and not bewitched ones like the ones in the story. Sanju is a good human being but an ordinary one though. He cannot retrace his steps from this life of security and hence makes an ordinary decision - he takes the route to the toffee house but also decides to share his toffees. He adopts an orphaned child, educates it, loves it and nurtures it to lead a decent life which it would probably have been denied if not for him.
There were other ways Sanju could have shared his toffees. He chose this way; we could choose one of the others. Not all of us have the conviction and vision of Kiran Bedi nor are we as selfless as Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa but we can still be good human beings. There still are faces we can bring smiles to without losing our smiles. So ordinary beings, lets not be ashamed of being ordinary but be good in our own ordinary way!