Far Away from Home....

Its been close to eight months since I left home and came to the US of A. I mention here the USA because it takes away from me the privilege of heading home whenever I feel like as opposed to another place in India. All on my own for the first time - all the decisions mine, all the responsibilities mine, all the rights mine and all the wrongs mine too. All the time I lived with my parents, they made the decisions for me or influenced me a great deal in making them. If something went wrong, I had them to point a finger at and wash my hands off any guilt. Away from home, I have no one to fall back on with my little worries and baseless fears. A tussle with colleagues and no one to hear me crib about it. The AC in my room makes weird sounds and makes me get up at all times of the night sweating and assured of seeing a blood covered ghost in front of me - no one to switch on the lights and drive away my fears. When I return from office, I have here, the television, the computer and the most comfortable corner of the sofa all for myself. These are perks, back home, I would get after winning a wrestling match with my brother. It strikes me that it was the wrestling I enjoyed more than the prize nominated for it.

I came here because I wanted my space un-encroached, my thoughts un-influenced, my time un-demanded and my identity under the sun. I got them all and more - I got to know my priorities in life. I know now the importance of family and being together. Those trivial words exchanged over a cup of coffee cannot be made up for by a phone call a week. A timely word of confidence, a knowing smile, a hearty hug and the pleasure of being needed - a few things that make life worth living and found no where else but at home . I don’t repent coming here and neither do I vow to never leave home again. I will fly again and yet again until all my feathers fall apart but for now, its time to go home, to the safety and warmth of my nest.