Arranged Marriage

Gauri is an average middle-class girl from an average middle-class family. Right from the day she was born, she became her parents’ vision and mission. They sent her to the best schools, bought her the best clothes, inculcated the right values in her. As she grew up, she was encouraged to pursue any kind of sports or extra-curricular activities she wished to. Her parents did not mind sacrificing their pleasures so that she could live her dreams. She was nurtured and groomed to think for herself, make her own decisions and be independent. Every small academic or extra-curricular success that she achieved made her parents overwhelmed with joy. Her mother would spend hours together teaching her her subjects and indulging in all the activities Gauri wished to pursue. Her father would wake up at 5'o’clock on chill winter mornings to accompany her to her coaching classes or to jogging or to teach her to drive a two-wheeler. She thrived on the attention she got and blossomed into a really happy and confident young woman. And then suddenly one day she was 22 and life changed!
She had reached the “marriageable”age. Her parents started the “process” of finding a groom for her. They asked Gauri if she had anyone in mind already but that was just a formality. They wanted the answer to be “no” and they heard it even when she hadn’t said anything. Her parents started attending every single party they were called for and the news that she was on the “marriage market” was discreetly spread. And then, there was the first phone call:
Prospective Groom’s Father: Hullo.
Gauri: Hullo
Prospective Groom’s Father: May I speak to Gauri’s father?
Gauri: (That sounds really weird. If the person on the other end knows me, why is he not talking to me and if he knows my father, why is he addressing him as “Gauri’s father”. Who the hell is he? Neverthless, in a very pleasing voice:) Yes, please hold on for a moment.
Gauri’s Father: Hullo (a commanding, dominating voice)
Prospective Groom’s Father: I heard your daughter is out for marriage. I have a son out for marriage.
Gauri’s Father: Oh, yes sir, please sir, let us discuss it sir (in a surrendering, nervous, unsure voice).
Gauri: (Hell, who did that to my father! I have never heard him talk like that, never! He has been in command in every situation, all my life. I loathe that person whoever it is on the other end. I want to murder him.)
Prospective Groom’s Father: M y son is currently in the US. He will be coming down to India next month on a 15 day vacation. By then, we want to see some girls and filter down for him to select. So, is your girl working?
Gauri’s Father: Yes sir (in that meek voice again).
Prospective Groom’s Father: Oh ok, I hope she is not too career oriented and can balance home and work equally well.. Haha.
Gauri: (Isn’t that the funniest thing you have ever said in your life!!)
Gauri’s Father: Oh no sir, she is normal, not too career oriented.
Gauri: (Totally caught off-guard. Dad, till the previous moment you were proud of my passion for work and my success in it. What is it that you are saying? Of course, I am career oriented and no, I am not ready to sacrifice my career for some stranger’s family.)
Prospective Groom’s Father: My son wants a girl who is fair complexioned, slim and around 5feet4inches tall.
Gauri’s Father: Oh yes, yes, yes, she is.
Prospective Groom’s Father: My son is well-built... hahaha, you know what I mean... good food, US and all that...
Gauri: (No, I don’t know what you mean. Well-built means tall, muscular and strong. Isn’t that what you mean or is there any other interpretation for it?)
Gauri’s Father: Yeah, hahaha.. (a nervous laugh)
Gauri: (Dad, I don’t think you know what he meant either.)
Prospective Groom’s Father: My son just bought a flat in Bangalore and you know how expensive that is now-a-days. Anyways, once he gets married, he and his wife will work it out.... hahahaha.
Gauri: (Good but why are you telling it to us?)
Gauri’s Father: Oh yes, I am not dependent on my daughter’s money. Its all hers.
Gauri: (Dad, but I thought we could own a house now. After living in rented houses all our lives, me and you could pool in money and buy that dream house amma always wanted. What happened to that dream?)(There is a lump in my throat now. I can’t take it anymore. I hate this person, his son and his entire ancestry. I don’t want to have anything to do with him.) (Dad, I don’t think this person is worth my boots let alone marrying him.)
Prospective Groom’s Father: Ok then, let’s meet up in my house this Sunday. God willing, if everything goes fine, we could even fix the marriage dates.
Gauri: ()
Gauri’s Father: Yes sir, God willing of course. See you soon sir. Bye sir.

Is this what Gauri’s 22 years of life is worth? Her parents gave up their dreams and ambitions to bring her up to this day? I think not. Gauri and her parents deserve much more than this. Gauri deserves an identity as a human being and her parents deserve respect for bringing up a respectable human being.