Who Am I?

Some people call me an introvert, some others call me arrogant. Some of them think I am intelligent, some others think I am dull. Some say I am selfish, some say I am immature. As for me, I am confused. I think I am none of the above but I can’t be sure so many people are wrong. If only people could understand me! Before that, do I understand myself? If given a chance, can I tell people who I am? Let me try-
Introvert: “a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings - a shy person.” I am not an introvert. I am mostly concerned with what others feel rather than what I feel. When I talk to a person, I try to read that person’s mind. I am not open with a stranger. I don’t ask her any questions about herself because I don’t feel the need for it. I can see he is physically well and that is all about I can be concerned about a stranger. But when with my parents or when I meet a friend or any person I know enough to care for, the first thing that crosses my mind before saying anything is “what will that person feel if I say this? Won’t she be hurt? Will she be happy if I say it? Or does it matter to her at all?” Mostly, I feel my comments or advice or thoughts are too insignificant to the other person so I keep them to myself. If not that, I probably don’t have anything to say at all; I think a lot about a problem before providing a solution to it; sometimes, I get too lost in my thoughts to find my way back. May be this silence makes people think I am an introvert but clearly, I am not. I do speak out when I feel I would make a difference.
Arrogant: “making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud.” If I was this, I wouldn’t have spent so many sleepless nights thinking why I was not noticed by anyone in a party or why I was ignored in my acquaintance circle and why I was not heard when I had tried to voice my opinion. How many times I had wanted to say something but stopped myself for lack of confidence. How can I be arrogant?
Selfish and immature: I don’t let anyone hurt me. If they do, I try to hurt them back or make it a point not to trust them again. I cannot sacrifice my self-esteem for someone else’s pleasure. Is that being selfish? I think it is self-respect. I react openly to an attack; don’t take a blame lying down. Is that being immature? I think it is being brave. People often mistake diplomacy for maturity. I think diplomacy is just a camouflaged term for cowardice and I am not a coward.
I am not what people think I am. So, who am I? I don’t know, I don’t want to define myself and restrict my growth domain. I am just an adolescent trying to discover myself. I want to have the freedom to grow in any direction , to make small mistakes and learn from them. I am yet to discover the absolute good. I want to explore all the emotions, sentiments, strengths and weaknesses that I have and then decide upon the best route to take. Till then, I am what I am and I am not bad.